


What The Cameras Don't See

by WakeUpSunshine



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23706952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WakeUpSunshine/pseuds/WakeUpSunshine
Summary: Everytime Irene looks at Wendy, she prays the cameras aren't looking too. Because even though she may seem cold and composed on the outside, she knows her eyes reflect the true battle that rages in her heart. This is what the cameras don't see.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy, Kim Yerim | Yeri/Park Sooyoung | Joy
Comments: 13
Kudos: 47





	1. Fuck Up My Life

"We should bribe manager unnie and find out where we're going!"

Irene vaguely heard the youngest speak as they all climbed into the back of their black van. After finishing the first meeting about their new reality show, Irene couldn't stop the thoughts that were slowly creeping into her head. What if they did have to do activities on large bodies of water? Or what if they had to do a game involving animals?

She knew if that were the case, she would at least try make herself do it. For the fans. They deserved good entertainment and she would not let her stupid fears get in the way of that.

"Unnie?"

Her head shot up quickly when she felt the warmth of Seulgi's hand seep into her shoulder through her shirt "Are you ok?"

Three pairs of concerned eyes were trained on their unusually quiet leader. She forced a smile and turned around to grab her seatbelt "ah yeah, I'm just thinking about the trip that's all. I wish Joy could come with us, it won't be the same without her"

"I was thinking that too" Yerim spoke up "I know it's selfish to say but I wise she wouldn't of accepted the role in the drama" Seulgi turned to the youngest and opened her mouth to speak before she was cut off "I don't mean that in a bad way! ... it's just"

It was clear to everyone just how important Sooyoung was to the maknae as unshed tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Her voice was unsteady as she spoke "we never see her anymore"

Wendy was the first to react as she was the one sitting next to Yeri "Yerim-ah, you know Sooyoung hates not seeing us too. I'm sure she misses us all very much. You especially" Wendy let the other girl rest on her shoulder as she rubbed soothing circles on her back

Yeri sniffed quietly before chuckling softly "yeah well, of course she misses me! I'm the only one here that's not a fossil"

At this Irene turned her head and glared playfully at the maknae who had her usual spark back in her eyes. It was unusual to see Yeri being held by someone who wasn't Joy, especially considering it was Wendy. Their playful feud would often carry on when they weren't on screen, but no one felt the need to comment on that right now. Right now Yeri let herself be held while Irene sat and watched the city buildings fly by. Wondering what it would be like to cry and have someone hold you tightly. 

\------------------------

"Should I make dinner now? Or would you rather eat later?"

Irene's inner turmoil had mostly subsided during the ride back to their dorms. She knew pushing her feelings aside was a recipe for disaster but in this line of work she needed to be strong. For her members.

"Whenever you want is fine Joohyun" Seulgi brushed past the older woman who was currently taking off her shoes at the door. Yeri had barely let Irene get the key in the door before she was rushing to her room, something about facetiming Joy leaving her mouth. 

"Is ramen ok? I don't really feel like making a big meal" She knew they had to get proper nutrition but right now Irene wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball under her pillowy blankets and try to ignore the stress that was weighing down on her shoulders like a ton of bricks. 

Seulgi gave her a warm smile and nodded her head before heading to the bathroom to wash up before dinner. Irene released a tired sigh before turning around to throw her hair into a messy bun.

Her heart jumped in her chest at the sight of Seungwan already in the kitchen. "Ah Wendy" she giggled nervously before meeting her curious gaze "you scared me"

"I'm sorry unnie" she flashed a dazzling smile before hopping on to a nearby counter "I was just wondering if you needed help, with dinner"

"No no it's ok Seungwan" The older woman reached up and grabbed a pot to boil the water "you should go rest, I'll call you when it's ready"

There was no hesitation before she responded "are you sure? I don't mind helping"

Irene couldn't fight the small smile that threatened to dance on her lips. Wendy was always such a selfless person, always putting everyone before herself. Even when they were trainees, she was the exact same. It didn't matter what anyone said about her not being a "real Korean" because she was Canadian. She always had nothing but smiles and pleasant words for everyone. Irene wished she had that much self control. She could never stop herself from giving those girls a few choice words when Wendy was no longer in the room. They didn't give Seungwan so much as a dirty look after that.

"It's ok Seungwan, really" Joohyun finally said while placing the pot on the stove. She grabbed a towel to dab up a few droplets of water when she realised Seungwan was still in the kitchen. Joohyun looked over her shoulder and frowned when she saw the younger girl worrying her lip in between her teeth.

"Seungwan?" She looked up from her the floor when she heard her name being called "is everything ok?"

Joohyun watched with increasing worry when she saw the real turmoil in the younger girls eyes. She quickly abandoned the pot and reached out with tentative fingers for the other girls hand 

"What is it Seungwan-ah? You can tell me, whatever it is" Joohyun hoped the smile she portrayed eased some tension in the younger girl. She was positively riddled with it.

"I just... I saw you in the van and you looked really, out of it. I was just worried. Is everything ok?"

Irene nearly sagged with relief when the words washed over her. She couldn't stop the small laugh that slipped past her lips "I thought something was seriously wrong Seungwan"

"This is serious unnie" Wendy grabbed Irene's hand with a certain pressure that stopped her laughter "are you ok?"

Irene wondered how Wendy noticed her changed of behaviour in the van. She had her facade perfected to a tee. Or so she thought.

"Wendy, I'm ok. Seriously" she gave the other girl a reassuring smile "I was just worried about doing any water sports on the trip"

Irene watched as Seungwan's features slowly relaxed and a small smile stretched her lips "unnie you know that you don't have to do anything like that if you don't want to" Wendy was rubbing small circles on the inside of Joohyuns wrist, the subtle drag of her nails on her smooth skin nearly made Irene's knees weak. 

"I know that Seungwan. The same goes for you. If you have a problem with anything they want us to do, just tell me and I'll take care of it"

"I know you will unnie, I trust you" There was a certain level of sincerity in Seungwan's voice that made Joohyun glance up at her face. 

"Well good" Joohyun laughed before slowly stepping away from the younger girl. The heat from her hands seemed to burn into Irene's skin. She glanced down at her own skin in confusion before rubbing her hands over the agitated area.

"And you're sure there's nothing else bothering you?"

Irene looked up from the boiling water and smiled softly at her fellow bandmate. How can someone so gentle and kind exist?

"Seungwan, I promise I'm ok" 

She took that as her cue to hop off the counter and smile at the older woman "ok good, should I get Seulgi and Yeri for dinner?"

"Yes please, that would be great" 

With a final smile, Seungwan turned and walked out of the kitchen. Irene listened to her retreating footsteps as she stared down at her hand that had now thankfully returned to it's normal cool temperature.

Joohyun shook it off and grabbed four bowls to start dishing out their noodles. She had just grabbed a wooden spoon when her phone vibrated in her pocket. Wondering if it was Sooyoung who had texted her she grabbed for it quickly.

Her smile slowly dropped when she realised it was an unknown number. A feeling of dread and anger rushed over her body like a bucket of ice water when she read what it said. 

8:29: Hello sweetheart  
8:29: Did you miss me?

\------------------------

There was a happy buzz in the air as the girls walked into their dorm. After they received the news that they'd be travelling to Bangkok and Pattaya, Seulgi and Yeri hadn't stopped talking and laughing about what they could wear for their few days away. Before they could rush to their rooms, Joohyun handed them each a camera to film what they'd be packing. She received a chorus of messy "thank you's" before they were out of sight. She was so happy in that moment that she almost forgot about the impending text that was burning a hole in her coat pocket. 

Almost

She inhaled a shaky breath before excusing herself from Wendy who was talking about all the sights they could see in Bangkok. She knew that if she stayed with the other girl for one minute longer she would notice the change in Joohyun's appearance. 

And Joohyun knew she would confess everything if it was Seungwan who confronted her. 

Not wanting to risk it, Joohyun locked herself in the bathroom and stripped off her clothes before stepping into the warm shower. 

She had to take action, soon. She should of already texted their manager and told their team that she had somehow got ahold of her number. 

She was foolish to think that she could leave her past behind her and move on. Maybe even some day move on with someone who understood her, who would listen to her. Someone who would hold her close and let her cry out all her demons.

She pretended to ignore the onslaught of emotions that had wormed their way back inside her bones. All the hurt, anger and shame that she thought she had buried away long ago. 

Joohyun didn't realise she was crying until she tasted the bitter flavour of salt on her tongue. She clumsily turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. No, she would not cry anymore. Especially not for her.

A few minutes later she was sitting on the edge of her bed, wearing a baggy t-shirt and tracksuit pants. Her phone was being squeezed mercilessly in her hands. She couldn't even decipher the words on the screen anymore, her vision was clouded with tears she refused to let fall. 

In a split second decision, Joohyun opened her bedroom window and threw the offending device as far as she possibly could in her weak state. She didn't wait to hear it shatter before she collapsed into her bed, crying silently into her pillow. A bed that now felt too big but also too small. Too empty. 

She wondered again, what would it be like to cry and be held tightly by someone? Someone who loved you unconditionally? She thought she knew, once upon a time. But not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this gets happier!  
> This will losely be based off Level Up Season 1. I just wanted some more wenrene content because we're all worried about our favourite Canadian.  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated if you enjoyed! I hope this makes some of you happy in this difficult time :)


	2. Porn And Erotica?

Wendy definitely wouldn't consider herself to be a stupid person. After all, anyone that received the presidential award while studying abroad and being accepted to attend an ivy league school couldn't be that dull. She didn't like to brag about these things of course, in consideration for anyone else around her that might think less of themselves or her. What good would come from bragging anyway? That's not who she was.

Wendy typically kept to herself when it came to confrontation. She didn't pick sides whenever the members bickered between them, preferring to keep on neutral ground. Confrontation was definitely not something she could stomach. Her tears often lead to the other person taking sympathy on the small brunette and that isn't what she wanted. She didn't want anyones pity, she wanted to win an argument because of her valid points and views. Not because of her tears.

There was only one instance she could recall when she wished her tears had stopped the other person. She had just left for Korea to become a trainee when she had finally worked up the courage to tell her parents the one part of herself that no one knew about. The fact that she was attracted to men and women.

That morning she boarded her plane with dry, sticky cheeks, a red puffy nose and clouded vision. Her father's voice echoing loudly in her head, words she wished she could forget. Her mother's silent judgement was deafening as she let her husband rip into their little girl.

It was only a few months later when her parents had flown out to see her and beg for her forgiveness. The broken look in her father's eyes pierced her heart, shredding it completely before she was running into his strong arms. Incoherent words bubbled out of her mouth. Because of course Wendy forgave them.

She feared she would always be weak in that sense. She knew she was too forgiving.

It was safe to say that Wendy had been hurt before, which is probably why she noticed the hurt that was practically bleeding from Joohyun's eyes. Eyes that were red rimmed and dull, unseeing.

She wondered how the other members couldn't see it, she was practically screaming it from the rooftops in Wendy's opinion. She didn't know how to approach this situation. It was always Joohyun who comforted them, telling them that everything would be ok. She could count on one hand the amount of times she'd witnessed Joohyun actually cry, and even then she always kept her composure enough to ensure that she wouldn't worry the people around her.

Seungwan wondered if Joohyun was simply too stubborn or too scared to let herself be vulnerable around her members. She pretended not to feel the stab of hurt at the thought that Joohyun simply didn't trust them enough. Or her.

It was with that thought in mind that had Seungwan giving her casual and cheerful good morning to their leader. She wouldn't push Joohyun to talk, that could have a more detrimental affect than simply doing nothing.

But Seungwan knew she had to do something. Especially when she walked outside to feed a few tabby cats that often hung around the dorm and saw a smashed phone directly across the street. A phone that looked all too familiar.

\---------------------------

"Is anyone else petrified?"

"No, you're just being a baby"

"I'm being a baby? Who called me into their room yesterday to kill a tiny spider?"

"It was huge, Yerim-ah!"

"Oh please! If it was actually moving then maybe but it was just taking a nap!"

"Spiders don't take naps" Seungwan didn't have to look at Seulgi to know she was pouting. As she looked out the tinted windows of their van, she wondered how Yerim and Seulgi could bicker over the smallest of things. Then again she couldn't really comment on that considering her and the youngest had more play fights than genuine conversations.

Seungwan loved it though, Yeri was the only one that wasn't afraid to dish it out as good as she got. She never tip toed around Wendy, she just spoke her mind. Seungwan found herself being jealous of the maknae's confidence more than once.

"Yah, that's enough you two. We're here"

Joohyun's voice had Seungwan glancing to where she sat next to Seulgi. She still hadn't come up with any ideas about how to approach their leader. She just had so many questions. What had gotten the composed and rational Joohyun so upset and aggravated that she threw her phone out the window? What had made her wake up with tear stained cheeks that even the best makeup couldn't conceal?

Seungwan didn't realise that she was inside a different environment until Yeri's high pitched squeal broke her our of her trance. The shifty road that they had been driving down had lead them to a modern and chic looking pool villa. She pushed her troubling thoughts aside and put on her usual smile for the cameras that she knew were filming her reaction. A reaction that she had become too good at faking.

The next few hours had blurred into one big mess. She remembered playing a stupid game to decide rooms which lead to some embarassing outbursts on her behalf. And she still lost the game. Her cheeks were still burning as she sat down on the bed she would be sharing with Joohyun for the next three days.

She was hoping to share with Yerim or Seulgi, she needed space from the oldest girl to try and figure out her messy thoughts. But as usual, look was not on her side. Not only would Seungwan have to share a bed with their leader, she would also have to pretend that absolutely nothing was wrong. That she didn't have a smashed phone stored away safely in her desk at home.

Easy, right?

Wrong. So very wrong. As soon as the older girl walked into their room, Seungwan jumped to her feet, turned around and started rummaging around in her bag. Looking for something, apparently. She should probably figure out what soon.

She caught Joohyun closing the curtains quickly before Wendy could object "Joohyun you really don't have to do that, I'm ok with the sunlight"

In all honesty, Seungwan was ok with the sunlight. She didn't have a problem with it. However in the heat of the moment, she proclaimed to hate the blinding sun. Anything that could keep her from sharing a room with Joohyun. It was far from the truth though. Seungwan loved the way the sun bounced off the walls in her room in their dorm, creating a calm and serene atmosphere while the warm rays bounced off her skin, warming her pleasantly.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable, Seungwan. We're meant to be relaxing for the next few days, remember?" Wendy could hear the playfulness in her voice. She let it settle over her, easing the tension from her rigid body.

The younger girl just about held in a gasp that was threatening to climb out from the back of her throat when she felt a cool hand press against her own lightly, the action had stopped her from rummaging around aimlessly in her bag.

"So relax"

Seungwan nodded dumbly before chancing a smile at the older woman. Joohyun held a soft look in her eyes and a small smile on her red lips. Wendy was just grateful that Joohyun seemed to be back to her usual self. For now anyway. 

She took a step back uncertainly before going over and opening up the curtains. She knew it was ridiculous but she felt like Joohyun could see right through her act. As if she knew that Seungwan was hiding something.

"What were you looking for?" Seungwan pulled at the hem of her top. Wracking her brain for an answer, any answer.

"Oh uh, just my book"

Perfect. Brilliant. She knew she had fucked up before the words had left her mouth.

"It's probably in your suitcase. Did you check there?" Seungwan nearly faltered when she realised that Joohyun had brought up her suitcase from the van outside. Always so chivalrous.

"Joohyun, you didn't have to bring that up for me" Wendy walked towards the other girl but smiled gratefully nonetheless.

"I know I didn't Seungwan, it wasn't any trouble" 

"We both know I don't pack light" Wendy grabbed the suitcase, laying it flat on the floor as Joohyun laughed to herself.

"You certainly don't, did you pack for two weeks?" Wendy glared playfully at Joohyun who wore a teasing smirk on her lips

"Don't come crying to me when you realise you forgot to pack something"

The words had left Wendy's mouth before her brain could catch up. She looked up quickly to gauge Joohyun's reaction but the older woman still had a teasing glint in her eye. No change in her demeanor. Wendy almost sagged with relief. 

They sat in a brief silence before Joohyun sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at Seungwan who was still sitting on the floor "are you going to check if your book is there? You might of just left it at home" 

Wendy nodded quickly before unzipping her suitcase. The harsh sound of the zipper ripped through the rooms gentle atmosphere. Wendy pretended to search feeble before releasing a sigh "I guess I left it at home"

"You can borrow one of mine if you like, I'm not sure if you'd like it though. I know you usually prefer scary books" 

That was true. No matter how many nightmares Wendy got from reading 'IT' or 'Pet Sematary' she could never put them down. She was addicted to the way her heart rate spiked at the climax or how her hands shook with nerves for the defenceless characters. 

"No it's ok unnie. You enjoy your book" putting the suitcase away for now, Wendy stood up and brushed some lint from her knees. She could unpack it later. Right now she just wanted some rest.

She sagged dramatically before collapsing on the crisp sheets of the bed. The harsh smell of an overly fruity fabric softener had her nose scrunching slightly.

"Come on lazybones, legs go make sure Seulgi and Yerim aren't killing eachother" Seungwan did not object when a slender hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her to her feet. She could worry about the problems plaguing her thoughts later.

\---------------------

It was a few hours later when everyone had sat down for dinner, did Seungwan finally entertain the idea that maybe she was being too dramatic about this situation with Joohyun. The older girl was smiling widely and laughing hysterically at something Seulgi had been telling her. 

Wendy felt an involuntary smile creep on to her lips before she had time to stop it. She was about to tell Yerim to chew her food before speaking when she noticed Irene throw her head back in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Her black sleek hair was splayed behind her shoulders, her slim neck proudly on display, her usual jawline was even more defined as it stood out proudly.

"Should we watch a movie?" 

It was Seungwan who suggested the idea, gathering the plates that had been left on the table. Yeri was the first to her feet, calling dibs on picking. Seulgi ran after the youngest quickly, nearly positive that the younger girl would pick a stupid comedy.

"We should leave them fight that one out on their own" Joohyun laughed to herself, picking up the cutlery that Wendy couldn't "I don't fancy getting into a wrestling match tonight"

"Good point" Wendy added as they walked towards the kitchen. They worked in silence for a while, Wendy scrubbing the plates before handing them to Joohyun who held a small cloth to dry them. Quiet conversation drifted in from the other two girls who were still fighting over a movie by the sounds of it. Wendy loved that they were comfortable enough that her and Joohyun didn't need to fill the silence with small talk. She didn't have that level of comfort with many people now that she thought about it.

"Should we get into more comfortable clothes? I don't fancy sitting in skinny jeans all night" Seungwan looked down at Joohyun's jean clad legs and couldn't deny that her own legs were begging to be released from the tight material too. Seungwan put the final plate away before nodding her head at their oldest member.

They walked into their shared room together, Seungwan who was now conscious of how well Joohyun's jeans actually fit her, making sure to walk ahead of the older girl, lest her eyes get a mind of their own. 

She was grateful to their pd who had informed them that the cameras had been shut off for the night as most of the crew had been heading to bed, exhausted from their day of work. Both girls bowed gratefully before closing the door behind them. Blocking out the rest of the world, just for a moment.

"I'm so tired" Seungwan nearly laughed at the rare whine that left Joohyun's mouth before she collapsed face first on to their bed

"That makes two of us" Seungwan grunted as she lifted her far too heavy suitcase on to their bed, careful not to jostle Joohyun who looked positively ridiculous spread out on the bed. Seungwan had to practically dump all her clothes on to the bed before she finally found her sleep shorts and loose long sleeved cotton shirt. She decided to leave Joohyun where she was and walked into their joined bathroom. She shed her clothes quickly and slipped on her comfy pyjamas. 

She decided to take off her makeup now because she knew that she wouldn't be bothered too take it off later when she got more tired. Wendy wouldn't say she was lazy, she was just a bit lethargic sometimes. Especially when she was tired. 

She threw out the final wipe she had used on her face and brushed her teeth quickly. Looking up at her reflection in the mirror, Wendy couldn't stop the feeling of happiness that overcame her at the thought of what a life she actually lived. She had adoring fans, members who would die for her and a loving family back in Canada. Wendy decided, life was good.

No quicker than it had came, that smile slid off her face like melting ice. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

She walked out of the bathroom and saw Joohyun dressed in a loose white shirt that fell past her mid thigh. The shirt hung loosely off one shoulder, showing off flawless smooth skin that was blemish free. Seungwan hoped to God that Irene was wearing shorts that she just couldn't see. 

On any other day, Wendy would of caught herself and wondered why the fuck she was admiring Joohyun's body. It's not like she hadn't noticed her beauty before, she had. Hell, everyone that had ever seen Joohyun before had admired her beauty. Just not to this extent. She had never once wondered how soft Joohyun's skin would feel under her touch. 

She undoubtedly would of panicked at this realisation if she had actually been focused on what her brain was telling her. But she wasn't. She would of noticed Joohyun's alluring aura if she wasn't focused on what she held in her hand. Or the devilish smirk on her lips. 

"I can explain!"

"Oh really?" Joohyun laughed lowly before sitting down on their shared bed "I thought you left your book at home?"

Seungwan opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water. She would of been concerned about how ridiculous she looked if she wasn't so mortified

"where did you find that?! Did you go through my suitcase?!"

Joohyun only gave the girl a playful glance before speaking, her voice was calm and steady in a way that had Seungwan flushing profusely "It was right here on the bed, Wendy-ah. You took it out when you were looking for your pyjamas. I know you mentioned porn and erotica in that game earlier but I didn't actually believe you" Wendy choked on a breath before releasing it quickly, covering it with a fake cough. Joohyun's teasing smirk only grew.

"Ok, I wasn't actually reading it"

Lie. Complete lie. She had been reading 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' since last week. In all honesty she blamed Yerim and Joy. They told her that she needed to get 'more action', when Wendy refused they had gifted it to her the next day. Apparently Joy had a spare copy. Wendy decided not to linger on that dreadful thought for too long.

"You weren't reading it?" Joohyun drawled while flicking through the book and stopping on a specific page "isn't this your bookmark?" 

Seungwan snatched the book away from the cackling girl, who was now rolling on the bed with laughter. Wendy felt her cheeks burn red, her skin no doubt showing her embarrassment.

She clutched the book tightly, not caring if she bent the spine.

"Stop laughing at me!" Joohyun finally took pity on the younger girl when she saw the blush creep from her cheeks down to her neck, turning her usually pale skin a soft red colour.

"I'm sorry Seungwan-ah" Joohyun finally stood up and wiped a final tear from her eye. Her smile was still very present on her face "I just didn't think you'd be into that sort of stuff"

"What sort of stuff?! I'm into lots of stuff!" Seungwan was too busy putting the book at the very bottom of her suitcase to realise what she had said.

"Bdsm stuff?" 

That stopped Seungwan dead in her tracks. She refused to comment and instead changed the subject quickly "Yerim and Joy made me take it"

"And it looks like you're enjoying it if you're already halfway through" the teasing tone in her voice had Wendy spinning around and shoving the older girl

"Joohyun!" The burn on her cheeks was becoming unbearable, she wanted nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow her. Was that too much to ask?

"Ok ok I'm sorry" Joohyun finally relented and stepped back to avoid Wendy's flailing hands "it just surprised me that's all" 

It surprised me too, in more ways than one. Wendy thought to herself.

"The writing is awful though, isn't it?"

Once again, Wendy was not a stupid person. But the amount of time it took for her to comprehend the words in front of her was embarassing. Finally shaking off her initial embarrassment, she found her voice "you've read it?" 

Joohyun stood up and walked towards the mirror that was on the opposite wall, her back to Wendy as she fixed her now wrinkled shirt "of course I have, I wish I hadn't though. It was just too cringey in my opinion" Her smooth voice had Wendy averting her gaze. 

Seungwan loved the fact that Joohyun's voice was either smooth and soft, perfect for calming even the most frantic person. Or else it was low, with a slight husk. Honestly Seungwan didn't know which one she prefered. She hadn't really payed much attention to it, until now. 

However, Wendy was not surprised that their composed and polite leader found the book to be a bit cringey. Even she had to admit that the writing was not great.

"Anyway" she turned around and Seungwan snapped her eyes up to Joohyun's face, away from her slender legs that had suddenly caught Wendy's attention "if that's what you're into, no shame in it" Seungwan watched as Joohyun ran a ran threw her sleek hair, leaving it messily attractive.

"I'm not 'into it' Joohyun. Yeri and Joy made me take it" she shocked herself with how convincing she actually sounded, considering her throat was dryer than she thought possible. 

A look of fondness crossed the older girls face before she grabbed Wendy's hand "come on, let's go see what the damage is downstairs. Five bucks they're having a pillow fight"

Seungwan didn't object when she was dragged downstairs, trying and failing to ignore the way her skin burned under Joohyun's gentle grip.

"You know" Seungwan wasn't sure if she was meant to hear Joohyun or not, her voice was merely a whisper. But the curl of her lips, and the glint in her eyes spoke volumes "I probably would of enjoyed that book if it was two women" 

Just when Seungwan thought she couldn't blush any harder, her cheeks proved her wrong. She felt like her body had been dipped in gasoline and set alight by the dark chuckle that slipped from Joohyun's mouth.

She definitely has to stop reading that book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some drama? ;)


	3. Almost

Wendy remembered what it used to be like to get a peaceful nights sleep. Without the stress of getting up at 3am to catch a flight, struggling with jet lag constantly, having to put up a front whenever she was in public. She remembered never having to fake who she was.

Perhaps now it just simply came easier. Perks of the job maybe? Was she just getting used to her life in the limelight? That's what she hoped. She prayed to God that she wasn't losing herself.

She knew deep down that she was still the same girl that got excited at the sight of forgotten ice cream in the freezer, or finding a new song that truly spoke to her soul, or the sight of a blood red sun set as it slowly slipped away over the horizon, gone for now but not for long. It would always return. It didn't matter if the world cried and wailed in agony, the sun would always come up.

And that's what used to give Wendy the strength to get up every morning. No matter what the people online said, or how many times she was chastised and shamed for her poor performances, the sun always came up and gave her strength to get up too.

Almost like an unspoken agreement. Nearly like old friends.

Seungwan stared at Joohyun's side profile as she slept, her old friend begging to break through the heavy curtains and seep into the pale skin of the other girl. She almost got up to do just that, the idea of watching the sun bounce off Joohyun was far too appealing. She watched her move slightly, her face contouring into a nervous frown, almost as if it didn't want to put any straine on the untouched skin. Wendy's fingers twitched from where they laid at her sides, wanting to reach up and brush away the frown on Joohyun's face.

It was that thought that had Wendy turning away to face the opposite side of the room. Her chest tightened painfully at the light feeling that had washed over her body deliciously, settling into a deep hum that had her blood boiling in her veins.

Somehow, Seungwan had convinced herself that the feeling in her chest was purely out of concern for Joohyun's wellbeing. Blood shot eyes, tear stained cheeks and a broken phone flashed before her eyes in a continuous loop, taunting her. She had to figure out a way to help Joohyun. She had to. She couldn't sit back and let her do this on her own.

The bed dipped slightly as the duvet stirred. A soft sigh was heard as Joohyun opened her eyes, blinking away any remnants of her slumber. Seungwan refused to turn around and meet the eyes of the older girl, she knew her cheeks were far too flushed to look like she had simply been too hot in her sleep.

"Seungwan-ah"

A few moments later, Wendy turned around and was greeted with the sight of a bed headed Joohyun. Her hair was mussed and the sleep lines on her cheeks had suggested that she had a great sleep.

"Good morning" Wendy barely recognised the whisper that was the poor excuse for her voice.

"How did you sleep?" Joohyun's husky voice would of taken Seungwan by surprise if she wasn't trying so hard to ignore the way Irene's eyes were burning holes into her skull.

"Very well actually" Wendy coughed over her shoulder, trying to ease the dryness in her throat "considering you snore"

If Wendy wasn't already sitting up, she was certain the pillow that was aimed for her head would of knocked her clean off the bed.

"I do not snore Wendy!"

Wendy jumped to her feet quickly, a smile breaking out on her face at the sight of her very feisty friend "ok ok!" She held her hands up in mock surrender before speaking again "but just so you know, the drool on my shoulder is not mine"

Wendy didn't dodge the next pillow that was sent her way.

\----------------------

"I really didn't know you'd do the parasailing unnie"

They had just about wrapped up filming for the day and now they were all enjoying a peaceful meal on the beach. They were tucking into their food happily, the gentle sea breeze was refreshing on Seungwan's hot skin. Stray hairs flew across her face but she refused to move them with her hands already occupied with devouring some shrimp.

"I didn't think I would either to be honest" Joohyun looked at Yerim with a smile before focusing back on her plate "I'm glad I did though, it was a nice experience"

"You looked ridiculous" 

Seulgi on her part had the decency to accept the slap that was sent her way from Joohyun. Although they were only teasing, Seungwan couldn't remember a time when all girls looked so carefree and serene. Working in this industry was definitely a struggle sometimes, it was important to let go every once in a while. 

A harsh ringing ripped through their little bubble quickly. Irene's phone screen lit up simultaneously before she snatched it up, giving the girls a smile before standing up and walking away to take the call.

"I wonder where she lost her phone" Yerim said, taking a big gulp of her watermelon smoothie.

"I was just thinking that" Seulgi said "it's not like Joohyun to lose anything, especially her phone. I've known her for nearly ten years and I don't remember her ever doing anything like that"

Seungwan looked away from the two girls. She knew perfectly well that Irene hadn't lost her phone, it was in her desk at home in two pieces accompanied with a shattered screen. It was scary listening to Joohyun tell them that she had lost the small device. If Wendy didn't know for a fact that it was in her possession at home, she would of undoubtedly believed her.

What was Joohyun hiding? What was so serious that she was openly lying to the people that loved her?

A pit opened up in Seungwan's stomach, no longer hungry she pushed her plate to the side. She wished there was something she could do. Her gaze unconsciously drifted to the girl that had been plaguing her thoughts more and more.

Wendy didn't know if she was just paranoid or if Joohyun simply was as tense as she looked. Her back was hunched and her shoulders were set in a hard line. What was going on?

"Do you think we should check on her?" 

Yerim who was resting her head on her hand simply shrugged "maybe, she knows what she's doing Seungwan. Don't worry so much"

Wendy scoffed, don't worry so much? That was like asking asking water not to be wet.

"I'm just gonna" she didn't finish her sentence before she was out of her seat, letting Seulgi and Yeri continue there conversation while she trecked towards Joohyun. She was down by the water line, far enough away that no one would disturb her conversation.

The closer Wendy got, the clearer Joohyun's voice became. Even though the words weren't directed at the girl, Wendy nearly stumbled with the venom that was leaking from the older girls mouth.

"I don't give a shit how it happened, just get it sorted. She should not have my number and you know that. You were meant to keep control of this. That's your job not mine"

A feeling of dread washed over Seungwan when Joohyun's eyes snapped up to meet hers. The fire that blazed in her usually soft brown eyes was frightening.

"I have to go" Wendy had the courtesy to step away and look down to let her finish up the conversation "just get it fixed"

The sound of the gentle waves lapping at the sand was deafening, Wendy was afraid to move let alone breath. She had never heard Joohyun openly curse at another person before, ever. Sure, she had once or twice when she stubbed her toe or bumped into a table and even then it had shocked Wendy. But she had never witnessed Irene so furious. Her hands gripping her shirt and then ran through her hair as she held her phone in a vice like grip. Seungwan was waiting for the snapping of plastic and metal but it thankfully never came.

"Seungwan"

Wendy didn't lift her head from where she was staring down at the sand, Irene's legs suddenly coming into view.

"Look at me, Seungwan"

The gentleness in her voice held no trace of the fire that she was just spitting moments ago. It was soft, gentle as it lifted to Wendy's ears

Suddenly there was a finger under her chin, tilting her head up so she was staring directly into chocolate eyes. Her lips were tilted down slightly, a frown creasing her eyebrows together "are you ok?"

Seungwan opened her mouth to speak but first took a step back and let Joohyun's finger fall from her face "are you?"

Joohyun's confusion stayed for a split second before a dazzling smile broke out on her face "oh because of that? It was just a family dispute"

"A family dispute?"

Joohyun hummed lowly, her smile never leaving. But her eyes, there was a flash of something in those hypnotising eyes that had Wendy looking away. She knew when to reign in her curiosity.

"Ok, I just came to check on you. You were taking a long time, so..."

Wendy clenched her jaw tightly when a slim arm slipped through hers, her touch was gentle but also firm as she lead them back to the table "always so considerate. Don't worry so much, Seungwan. Especially not about me, ok?"

She wrapped her hand around the older girls slim wrist, trying to ease some of her tension "how can I not, unnie?"

Her jaw flicked quickly, her lips setting in a hard line "try your best"

Wendy didn't say much for the rest of the day. Joohyun's fake smile being all she could focus on.

\--------------------------

Joohyun glanced at Seungwan as they all sat by the pool together. Seulgi and Yeri were too busy splashing eachother to notice the tension between the other pair. 

Joohyun knew that Wendy had heard some of her conversation at the beach, she just didn't know how much. This was a very delicate situation and she did not want to drag the other girls down with her. They've worked too hard for their careers and she wouldn't let this affect them.

But even so, the hurt look in Seungwan's eyes had pained her more than words ever could. She didn't want to hurt Wendy, she just wanted to keep everyone safe.

"Joohyun?"

Seulgi was waving a hand in front of the older girl, a wide smile on her little face "do you want to come in?"

Irene scoffed lightly, putting her phone away "and have you and Yerim annihilate me? No thank you"

"We won't! We promise, you should come in. You don't have to obviously but the waters lovely"

Joohyun looked to Wendy again who was sitting on a chair next to her "are you getting in?"

Seungwan looked up from her phone before shaking her head "I don't think so, I'm too tired"

"Do you want to go to bed? We won't mind" Joohyun stood up before grabbing a towel from her bag 

"No it's ok unnie, I'll wait for you" 

Irene looked for any sign of apprehension in the younger girls eyes, finding none she decided to run upstairs and change into a pair of shorts that she didn't mind getting wet.

By now, the crew had all turned in for the night and the cameras had been shut off. Irene preferred it this way, especially when she just wanted some alone time with her friends.

Seulgi and Yeri were still chatting adamantly in the pool but now they were just floating on their backs and staring up at the roof. Seungwan on her part had pulled out a book and was staring intently at the words in front of her. 

Joohyun noticed with a quirked brow, that it was not the book she had caught the other girl with two days ago. Now it was 'To Kill A Mockingbird'

Joohyun honestly couldn't contain her surprise when she saw that the other girl was reading a book as erotic as fifty shades of grey. No matter how bad the writing was. Seungwan probably would of been the last person she would of picked to read a book like that.

Joohyun walked back to the pool quietly, making sure not to disturb Wendy. She dropped her towel on a nearby chair before leaning over the other girls shoulder. The smell of her shampoo had Irene hooked instantly.

"I don't think that book is quite your style, Wendy-ah"

She watched in satisfaction as Wendy jumped in her chair, snapping her book shut.

"Joohyun, you scared me"

Joohyun hummed slowly before taking the book from Seungwan's weak grip "why are you reading this?"

"Why am I reading it?"

Joohyun nearly cooed at the confusion on Wendy's features "what happened to your... other book?"

The realisation hit Wendy like a truck. Her gaze instantly fell to her lap, her cheeks and ears turned crimson with embarrassment as her mouth snapped shut.

"I... I just didn't feel like reading it right now"

Joohyun had to lean in closer to hear the hushed words that left Seungwan's lips. A broad smirk broke out on Joohyun's lips before she could stop herself "I understand, this is probably a very inconvenient time to be turned on"

Joohyun was up out of her seat instantly, barely dodging the hand that had tried to cover her mouth "Joohyun!" The panic in her voice nearly sent the older girl to the floor with laughter "it does not turn me on!"

"What doesn't turn you on?"

Seulgi and Yeri were resting their arms on the edge of the pool with a clear look of confusion on both of their faces. Wendy groaned loudly before collapsing backwards in her chair.

Finally taking pity on her fellow member, Irene rubbed her knee before standing up and putting her hair into a ponytail "so, who's going to help keep me from drowning?"

Twenty minutes later and all the girls were laughing together. Wendy was snapping pictures and sending them on to Joy who was nearly finished filming her drama. As much as they were enjoying themselves, it constantly felt like something was missing without Sooyoung.

"Should we throw a welcome home party for Joy when we get back?!" Yeri was flailing her arms around, successfully splashing Seulgi and Irene who were nearby.

"What do you mean throw a welcome home party?" Irene wiped the water from her eyes before reaching for the safety of the edge of the pool again "she didn't leave to film the drama"

"Duh, I know that" Yeri half swam half, drowned? Over to Irene before latching on to her arm tightly "but we haven't seen her properly in weeks, come on unnie! It'll be fun! And you can organise everything!"

Joohyun laughed loudly, throwing her head back before looking at their maknae "how would me organising everything, entice me at all to let you have a party?"

"Unnie, please!" Yeri widened her big brown eyes before jutting out her bottom lip in an adorable pout "it would mean so much to Sooyoung"

Irene turned to Seungwan for support but she was barely keeping her eyes open, head lolling every so often. Seulgi refused to meet her eyes when Joohyun sent her a desperate look.

"Ah, fine" Joohyun grumbled but the look of happiness that lit up Yeri's face was reward enough "but you have to help prepare and organise this, ok?"

The youngest unleashed an ear piercing squeal that had Wendy jumping from her chair, her book falling to the floor. Joohyun was being crushed in a hug before she could register anything, if her arm wasn't on the wall she was certain they both would of went under.

"Thank you unnie! Thank you!"

"Ok ok" Irene was trying and failing to pry the arms from around her neck, Yerim's grip was freakishly strong.

Suddenly, the warmth from the youngest girl was replaced with cold air. Yeri was running out of the pool, ignoring Irene's warning to slow down.

"She didn't even bring her towel" Seulgi laughed as she climbed out of the pool, grabbing her own towel and Yeri's forgotton one "are you two going to bed?"

Irene looked to Wendy, wanting to ask if she was ready for bed but she saw that the other girl had already nodded off in her chair again

"I'll take that as a yes" Seulgi had lowered her voice and laughed quietly to Joohyun "do you want me to stay and help you clean up?"

"No it's ok Seulgi, go make sure Yeri didn't break something running around the place"

Seulgi bid her a good night before walking away, mumbling something along the lines of "she better not be sleeping on my side of the bed again"

Joohyun rested her chin on her folded arms as she kicked her legs lazily in the water. It was starting to get cold in there anyway. 

"Wendy-ah" she tried keep her voice as soft as possible, not wanting to startle the sleeping brunette "Wendy"

Eyes fluttered open slowly and a hand went up to cover a yawn that escaped her mouth "Joohyun?" 

"Hey sleepy"

A light blush dusted her cheeks, her arms folding across her chest "I wasn't even sleeping"

Joohyun chuckled before rolling her eyes "sure you weren't" she walked to the steps of the pool and climbed out carefully, not wanting to fall. She nearly did at least twice, she didn't know how it was physically possible for Yeri to sprint out of the courtyard in one piece.

She felt an array of goosebumps on her skin as the chill of the night finally hit her. Wendy was holding out her towel and Joohyun took it gratefully. She took her hair out of it's ponytail and dried it quickly in the towel.

"Should we head inside?" Her voice was muffled from the towel as she pat dried her face. She hated how dry chlorine made her skin feel.

She had moved to her shaking arms before looking up to Seungwan, who was looking down at her hands with a red tint on her ears "Seungwan?"

Irene quickly bent down and dried her legs, ignoring that the towel was now cold and damp "sorry?"

"I said do you want to head inside?"

"Oh! Yes, yeah sure"

Joohyun glanced up and saw Seungwan hurriedly grabbing her book and phone before putting some empty sweet wrappers in the bin. Her eyes seemed to be shifting everywhere around the room, everywhere except Joohyun. 

She self consciously looked down at her bare legs and wet t-shirt. Was Wendy uncomfortable with her showing so much skin? Irene pulled her shirt lower to cover the sliver of stomach that was noticeable and wrapped the towel around her legs. 

"Ready?"

Seungwan nodded her head and they both walked back to their shared bedroom. After changing into more comfortable clothes, Joohyun felt an overwhelming urge to apologise to the younger girl. Wendy was clearly still uneasy, she hadn't sat still since they entered the room.

Irene waited until the lights were off and they were both under the quilt before turning to face her fellow member. Wendy's back was all that was visible in the dark room.

"Seungwan?"

She was nearly convinced she was asleep until she heard a soft groan "I just wanted to apologise, for earlier"

Seungwan turned on to her back slowly, before facing Irene "apologise? For what, unnie?" Her voice was quiet and raspy in the silent room, Joohyun instantly felt bad for disturbing the tired girl.

"At the pool, when we were leaving. I saw how uncomfortable you were and I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I know I don't show a lot of skin often so I completely understand where you're coming from. I was a little out of my comfort zone myself if I'm being honest" Joohyun gave a pathetic nervous laugh, playing with a loose thread on her sleeve.

"Joohyun" A soft hand on her own stopped her fidgeting "you didn't make me uncomfortable, I promise"

"I didn't?"

Irene heard more than saw Wendy shake her head "then what was bothering you?"

Joohyun felt her breath hitch, the hand covering her own had slowly started to descend down the expanse of her arm. She was grateful she had chosen to wear a loose long sleeve top but she wouldn't of been surprised if Wendy still felt the goosebumps on her skin.

Her hand stopped at the end of Irene's elbow, the back of her hand grazed the warm skin on Irene's stomach where her shirt had ridden up. Irene felt the muscles there tense at the unexpected touch. It was so gentle, so barely there that Irene had almost convinced herself that it never happened. If it wasn't for the trail of scorching heat left behind by Seungwan's fingers, she would of believed that she'd imagined the whole ordeal. Irene hadn't felt a touch like that in a long time. She was momentarily robbed of her breath.

"Goodnight Joohyun"

But Joohyun didn't respond. She didn't even hear the hushed words, her heart was pounding in her ears. 

She felt the bed dip as Wendy turned over and successfully ended the conversation. Joohyun waited patiently, watching the rise and fall of Seungwan's back as she finally succumbed to sleep. 

Irene released a shallow breath, her fingers twitched at her sides as she battled within herself to not reach forward and touch the back of the sleeping girl. She couldn't ignore how the muscles in Seungwan's back expanded and relaxed with each breath. 

Joohyun had never had to endure such a restless and conflicting night such as this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really happy with this chapter but feedback is always appreciated :)


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